By Stephanie Chilton -
Are you trying to ignore a feeling of dread over the holidays?
Family gatherings are expected at this time of year, and come with high expectations!
But when addiction shadows you or a loved one, these events can feel emotionally draining. In fact, let’s be honest, family gatherings can be difficult even without the added complications of addiction.
And as a woman over 40, you may even be the glue that holds the occasion together…which only adds to the pressure for you.
So, how do you navigate the situation with some semblance of grace and dignity?
Acknowledge the Reality
Addiction is a complex disease, not a moral failing. Recognizing reality can help manage expectations. Be honest about what may arise during the gathering and make a plan. Rehearse in your mind how you will handle it.
Set Boundaries
Healthy boundaries protect your peace without the need to alienate anyone. If you know there is a family member attending who is likely to cause an issue, decide ahead of time what you will and won’t tolerate. Clearly but kindly communicate your boundaries if necessary. For example, you might choose to leave a conversation or step away if the situation escalates.
Prioritize Emotional Support
Lean on trusted friends or a support group if you feel overwhelmed. Services such as SAMHSA offer valuable resources for those affected by addiction and their loved ones. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup; self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential.
Foster an Inclusive Environment
Creating an inclusive and safe space doesn’t mean enabling harmful behavior. Consider hosting alcohol-free gatherings or providing options for those in recovery. Simple steps like serving sparkling water or mocktails show consideration without drawing unnecessary attention to the situation.
Know When to Let Go
You can’t control how someone else chooses to behave. Accepting this truth can be liberating. Focus on what you can control—your response, your emotions, and your participation in the gathering.
Celebrate the Positive
Amid the challenges, look for moments to celebrate. Whether it’s a meaningful conversation or a shared laugh, these moments remind us why we gather in the first place: to connect, love, and support one another.
Family gatherings can be both a source of joy and stress, but with preparation and compassion, you can maximize the job and minimize the stress. Prioritize your well-being, support your loved ones, and remember—you are not alone in this journey.
At Mature Allure we believe that the wisdom you’ve gained over the years is your greatest asset and should be shared with the world. We would love you to share your tips for safe and happy family gatherings in the comments below.
